Well.... I feel a little bit better now. Seriously yesterday I just felt like I was having some kind of breakdown. And I still don't feel like EVERYTHING'S better but at least I'm not crying.
I don't know what to do about the money stuff. I'm so bummed out because lately it's been every time I turn around I have to pay for other crap. What happened to the days where your money simply went to fun things? Now it's like I have no money for anything other than bills, rent and gas. It sucks. And for awhile now I've been so looking forward to getting my hair done. And I know I can get the money to do it but then I'll still be worrying about money. God I just want to get to the point where I don't have to worry so much. I feel like I'm 60 instead of 23. I'm going to worry myself straight to an early grave.
I also kind of talked to Dustin. I guess I just feel like we've been talking and talking and talking about getting engaged and I feel like he isn't taking it at all seriously. He tells me he's ready and he has things planned but I don't understand when this planning is going on. I'm about 95% sure he hasn't bought a ring yet simply because I almost always know where he is and he's not the greatest at faking me out. It just stresses me out. I don't like not having any of the control, it bothers me SO much. I guess I just want it to happen so that I can have the control back. I guess that makes me sort of a control freak but I've always been that way! I can't help myself!
In better news, Maroon 5's new CD came out yesterday and I'm watching them right now on
Ellen. It's different. I mean, it's so hard to not compare their old CD to their new one. Their new one is SO much different! I have a feeling I'll really end up liking it but I think it's going to take time. However, Adam (lead singer, DUH), is SO FREAKING CUTE. I'm still really sad that their drummer, Ryan, is gone because I was a little in love with him. Hm.
Anyway, I have more to say but I think I'll do it later. I'm still having some friendship issues. I guess I'm just feeling a little left behind from everyone. So hopefully I'll get over that.
More soon.
