UGH! Sometimes I just feel so frustrated. I feel like I try to do things that make the people I care about happy but they don't even appreciate anything. And then I turn around and realize I'm putting my happiness on the backburner. I'm tired of people making me feel like my happiness isn't as important as theirs, intended or not. For too long I have felt as if I've been running to keep up and when I finally did kind of catch up it still wasn't as good. I'm just bummed.

It's going to be a busy summer and I'm a little worried about all the time off I'm going to be taking from work. In June I've got both my brother's birthday, the big and important 21, and Dustin's birthday. July is ridiculous, I've got my one year anniversary with Dustin, Jen's birthday, and I have to take off pretty much a whole weekend for Shannon's wedding, not to mention time off for the bachelorette party that it seems may not even happen at this point. And August my parents want to take a week long family vacation, which would be great except that means a week of no pay AND Dad and I aren't really on speaking terms right now.

Why do I feel like my life isn't as important as other people's? I've been having this big issue with my dad as well as with work and some people act like I have no right to even want to vent about those things, let alone try to get advice. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have a right to have feelings, like all I'm around for is for other people to bounce off of me and I'm just supposed to take it. I'm getting tired of it.

My life is changing. I live with my boyfriend and we're discussing marriage. I'm pulling away from my parents' bubble and that's a little scary. It may have taken me a little longer than others to achieve these things but that doesn't make it any less important.

I'm incredibly frustrated. And I'm tired of people being selfish. I know maybe I don't have a right to say that because I can be really selfish sometimes but.... I really feel like I'm getting absolutely no appreciation. And that truly hurts.

Oh my goodness, SO MUCH has happened!

I've been living in my new place for two weeks now and I must say, I totally love it! I love getting to see Dustin every day, I adore living with boys instead of girls, I am so happy to be back in River Falls and I am having so much fun making our place a home. There have been a few hills to climb, hills concerning my relationship with Dustin, and I'm having a little trouble reaching the top but I have faith in our relationship so I am hopeful that things will turn out okay. Other than that, though, things here are really great and I'm happy with the decision I made.

Work has been interesting. There's a lot of drama going around and at first I was kind of happy to contribute to it because Tracy has been driving me nuts. She isn't giving me enough hours and she's slacking on morning stuff so it makes things harder on those of us who work later, plus she claims that closes are always bad and it makes those of us who close feel bad. We're each having individual meetings with her and mine was today. I felt like it went well and hopefully this means things will get better. However, whatever happens I'm done with the gossip and all that junk. It's starting to get irritating and it's just work.

Things with Grandma and Grandpa aren't great. Grandma's doing a little better but Mom and Dad want to put them into assisted living and Grandma's not having it. There's that Gautreaux stubborness for sure. I'm hoping she'll come around because I can't imagine them being able to live along anymore. Grandpa, though, is not doing well. The chemo is making him sick and it's just not good. Dustin and I are going down there next weekend to see them and I just don't even know what it will be like. I'm scared. I'm not used to seeing my grandparents so weak and I'm not really sure what to expect. I know that this is a part of life but it's a really shitty party of life.

Good news, though, is that D and I are getting a pet! Not a puppy like we really want because we're not ready for that. But we are getting a guinea pig! I am super psyched, we're getting the cage and everything this Saturday and on Sunday we're getting the guinea pig! Excitement!

For now, though, I am SO tired. So more soon!