I haven't written much because I've been working so much that I don't exactly have a whole lot to say. It's weird not having Tracy at work anymore. The schedule is a little weird and it's weird having Jake giving the orders. There isn't that something extra that Tracy brought to the table. Ellie is walking around acting as if she owns the place. I have a hard time dealing with her. She's been there, what, a few months? She acts like she's been there longer than anyone and she has every right in the world to tell everyone what to do. Jake is trying him best but I'm sure he's not in the world's best position. And no matter who takes Tracy's place it won't be the same. I am not trying to be negative about this, I just feel like I'm being realistic. I know it's just a job. But I take a lot of pride in my job. And now it kind of feels like it's all being turned upside down and that's so sad.
Yesterday I got my letter from River Falls. I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I re-applied. Well, the letter says that I need to write a letter to the dean of my college explaining why I left and then I need to make an appointment with the dean to discuss the letter. Dustin had to do exactly the same thing so I'm pretty sure this means I'm back in. Which means I just have to do this dean stuff and then figure out financial aid. It's scary! This is truly my last chance to do this right. When I told Mom and Dad they weren't exactly thrilled for me although I guess I don't know why they would be. I have to prove to them that this isn't just another thing that I will fail at. And I won't this time. So anyway, I'll probably transfer from my Caribou to the one in Hudson around July or August and then I will be back to school in the fall. And we will see how it goes.
Dustin still has not proposed. I'm kind of sad. I keep waiting and waiting and it feels like I'm going to burst! I don't like surprises. I want this so much but at the same time I don't want to be caught off guard by it. I'm just ready and ansty! I've been doing some research on planning a wedding and it's a BIG DEAL. And I want this to be an amazing wedding. We already kind of realized we'll have to give up the boat reception because
- It's A LOT of money
- You can't use your own caterer
- You can't have CANDLES (so dumb!)
So now I need to figure things out. And I'm itching to do it! I just need to wait around for Dustin.
A lot is changing VERY fast. That's always been scary for me and it always causes me to freak out and shut down. I won't do that this time. I can handle this.
I hope.
More soon.
