Well, I'm back!

I haven't been posting on here because I started to use Myspace instead. I kind of liked the idea that I KNEW people were reading about me rather than just kind of wondering. I guess I kind of like the attention as sad as it is for me to admit it. But I've missed this, my home. And so, again, I come crawling back.

This will be kind of a list of an entry to explain all that's been going on in my life. So for those who are reading, enjoy!

Family: On the morning of December 15th my grandpa died. I didn't tell a whole lot of people because I wasn't sure how to deal with their reactions. I found out when I was at work. I was calling my grandma like I always do on Fridays and my dad's sister Robyn told me. I ended up having to work the rest of the night. It hasn't been good. I miss him SO MUCH and wish so much I would have taken more time to get to know who he was. And part of me still has a hard time realizing that I will NEVER see him again. Christmas was a hard time for my family, our first holiday without him. We had a memorial service for him in January. I'm so thankful for Dustin. He came with me and held me when I needed him to. I'm so so glad that Dustin got to meet him and got to see him before he got so sick. Ugh. I hate death.

Friends: I have lost some friends and gained back some friends and made some new friends.

Lewann and I stopped being friends shortly after the last entry I wrote on here. I was so upset about the holidays and about Tracy trying to take back the time off she promised me. I vented to Lewann, explaining that my grandparents weren't doing well and I needed the holidays off. She ended up telling me I'm selfish for thinking I deserve holidays off when other people don't get them off. I understand why she'd be upset because she probably had to work on those holidays. However, her family lives close enough that she can go home to them at the end of the day. If I work on the holidays I go home to nothing because my family celebrates the holidays in Illinois. And frankly, thank God I got Thanksgiving off because it is the last time I saw Grandpa alive and thank God I got Christmas off because I needed to be there with my family. It hurt to have Lewann act the way she did but frankly if that's how she truly is then I'm better off without her.

Nina and I met right around the time that I lost Lewann. I knew of Nina and she knew of me. Nina is dating Rich, my ex. When Rich and I started talking again and he told me that he had a girlfriend I wanted to hate her. I imagined someone that was closer to his age, someone who walked around thinking she was so much better. I imagined him telling her horrible stories about me and I couldn't understand why he treated her SO much better than he ever treated me. Then I found out that Nina is actually younger than me (she is a few months older than my brother) and that she and Rich have some of the same problems that he and I used to have. Anyway. One night after getting home from a GREAT night out with friends I ended up talking to Nina online. I thought she was Rich (they live together and his SN was signed on. I said hi and it turned out to be her on the computer). We ended up talking for a few hours that night and decided we had to meet. Since then we've hung out a handful of times, talked online A LOT and on Valentine's Day Nina, Rich, Dustin and I went out for dinner. Amazing. So so amazing and unbelievable. And the best part is I ADORE Nina. I couldn't have asked for a better person for Rich (now he just needs to shape up a bit so he actually deserves to have her). And hopefully Nina and I will continue to build our friendship and things will be good.

Recently Shelli, Jill and Heather all came back into my life. Shelli and I were friends since junior high but in September we had a falling out. We since started talking again and she'll be staying with me overnight next month and going to the Christina Aguilera concert with me! I can't wait for us to reconnect and hopefully grow close again. Jill and Heather are also friends from junior high that I lost touch with in college. They were the people I was out with the night I became friends with Nina. I'm so happy to have found them again and I hope so much that our friendship will grow.

Work: Yes, I am still at Caribou and still working pretty much full time. Despite all the holiday stuff I do love my co workers and my boss and the store that I work in. Tracy has been trying to find even more for me to do with Caribou and I am so grateful to have her as my boss. She makes my schedule at work so that it fits into my life with Dustin and that is more than I could ever ask for. Frankly, aside from a few small things I'm really thrilled with work right now, as odd as that is.

School: Yes, I am re-applying to school. Back to River Falls, to me exact. I've done so much thinking about where I really want my life to go and I truly can't see myself without a degree. I only have one life to live and I do not want to regret not going to school and getting my degree. So hopefully they will take me back and I will be back in school for the 2007 Fall Semester. And the other thing: I'm going back to my old major, Social Studies Secondary Education. I don't know why I switched to Marketing because I really don't see myself doing anything but teaching. So my plan is to go back to school while working part time at Caribou. And if after I graduate I can't seem to get a job then I'll going into MIT at Caribou and become a store manager.

Love: Ah yes. It's funny reading over the old entries of this blog and going back over all the turmoil of my love life. Dustin and I are doing wonderful. In a few weeks we're driving 20 hours to DC and staying with his aunt and uncle and sight seeing. After staying there a few days we're going to drive to Richmond to stay with his cousin for a few days before coming home. I am SO excited! It's going to be our first real vacation together and I'm so hopeful that it will draw us even closer together.

Oh... and no ring. Yet.

ANYWAY! I am EXHAUSTED right now. So more VERY soon!