I am so tired of arguing with people about the holidays. The entire issue has me totally stressed out. It's bad enough that I barely ever get to see Mom and Dad, let alone Grandma and Grandpa. But now it seems like everyone is on my case about it and that's got me really upset.

Maybe I am being selfish. But I do not want to miss out on what might be my last holidays with my grandparents. I cannot imagine not getting to see them, I cannot imagine being stuck here and having to work. So you know what, I'm selfish. I don't really care anymore and I am not going to apologize for it.

So to those of you that think I'm being a bitch about this or think that I don't have a right to be upset, then screw you. You obviously have no idea what my life is like right now and that doesn't make you much of a friend.

God I am so upset. Everytime I call my grandmother she sounds worse and it makes me so sad. And I don't even talk to Grandpa anymore. It's like they're slipping out of my life and there is nothing that I can do about it and that makes me SO SAD. And now on top of everything else I'm getting treated like crap by people that I thought we my friends. And I'm just so tired of it. I'm starting to hate the holidays because they're causing all these problems. Talk about bittersweet.