It has been a long time. And a lot has changed. And I'm scared. And sad. And unsure. And I just simply am hating how I'm feeling.

I am so mad at Dustin lately. It's like he doesn't even care about my feelings anymore. He doesn't care that my day today was horrible and stessful, he just proceeds to treat me badly and then acts like nothing is wrong. I think that's what makes me the most upset, that we fight and then he acts like absolutely nothing happened. It just makes me so sad. And it makes me question us. And I guess I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about it. Maybe I don't want to talk to anyone about it. When things like this happen I don't want anyone to know that anything is wrong because I guess admitting that would be bringing the problem to life. I wish I could figure something out. I wish Dustin would TALK TO ME.

Work was hell today. I don't mean to act like a bitch but I cannot deal with Sunita. I know she means well and she's trying to be sweet and all but I cannot believe Tracy hired her! I worked with her for five hours today and I truly felt as if I was working by myself. I couldn't even leave her alone so that I could do the dishes. And yet when I try to call Tracy about the situation she doesn't bother to call me back. Great. I don't know what to do. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with this kind of situation. And maybe that makes me a bad person. But I don't want to make other people mad because I can't get the stuff done on the shift that should be all finished when the next shift starts.

It all sounds like a lot of complaining. And I guess I'm not even writing it to anyone. I just want to vent. And this used to be the place I could do that. So I guess I'm back,