UGH! Sometimes I just feel so frustrated. I feel like I try to do things that make the people I care about happy but they don't even appreciate anything. And then I turn around and realize I'm putting my happiness on the backburner. I'm tired of people making me feel like my happiness isn't as important as theirs, intended or not. For too long I have felt as if I've been running to keep up and when I finally did kind of catch up it still wasn't as good. I'm just bummed.
It's going to be a busy summer and I'm a little worried about all the time off I'm going to be taking from work. In June I've got both my brother's birthday, the big and important 21, and Dustin's birthday. July is ridiculous, I've got my one year anniversary with Dustin, Jen's birthday, and I have to take off pretty much a whole weekend for Shannon's wedding, not to mention time off for the bachelorette party that it seems may not even happen at this point. And August my parents want to take a week long family vacation, which would be great except that means a week of no pay AND Dad and I aren't really on speaking terms right now.
Why do I feel like my life isn't as important as other people's? I've been having this big issue with my dad as well as with work and some people act like I have no right to even want to vent about those things, let alone try to get advice. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have a right to have feelings, like all I'm around for is for other people to bounce off of me and I'm just supposed to take it. I'm getting tired of it.
My life is changing. I live with my boyfriend and we're discussing marriage. I'm pulling away from my parents' bubble and that's a little scary. It may have taken me a little longer than others to achieve these things but that doesn't make it any less important.
I'm incredibly frustrated. And I'm tired of people being selfish. I know maybe I don't have a right to say that because I can be really selfish sometimes but.... I really feel like I'm getting absolutely no appreciation. And that truly hurts.
