What a day.... I never assumed that today was going to be "one of those days" but it totally was. Let's see:

So I get to work and it's automatically crazy. Lexie was kinda pissy at Tracey and, well, she had every right to be. Tracey spent from about 11 to 2 on the phone rather than helping to put away the order like she was supposed to be doing. And it's not lke Lexie and I were just sitting around, it was steady during my entire shift, which seems busy when you're trying to get other stuff done. It just felt totally crazy.

Rich came in around 2:45. It was weird. But it wasn't. Does that make sense? I was busy, OF COURSE. So I didn't get much of a chance to say anything to him and maybe it was better that way because I'm pretty sure I would have stuttered and not made much sense. He looked good. And he smelled good. And for a second I kind of wanted to cry because it hit me in those few minutes how much I really miss him. But not in that "Man I miss having sex with him" or that butterfly feeling that that special someone gives you. I really miss.... just him. I've been thinking lately about what it would have been like if we had just been friends. Then again, maybe it took going through ALL OF THIS to realize everything. I don't know. I think I'd like to see what it's like to have Rich as my friend. I'm not exactly sure if he cares to talk to me much anymore or not but I know I'd like that. He didn't make a good boyfriend to me... (actually, he was a good boyfriend but not for me at that point in my life and not the way I wanted a boyfriend to be at the time) and it wasn't his fault and it wasn't mine; we just were not meant to end up together. Wow, how long has it taken me to admit that? And I know I've been sitting around saying that I'm owed an apology and that I am so angry with him and all that. But.... what's the point of life if you don't eventually realize that it's too damn short and sitting around waiting for an apology is a waste of some very good time.

Um.

I think I'm really sad right now. Today was my last day working with Lexie and that makes me super bummed because she's my favorite person at Caribou. I mean, I love almost everyone I work with but she made it super fun and she's someone I think I could actually be friends with outside of work. So that makes me sad. Then there's Rich, which makes me sad because I'm angry for wasting these past.... whatever..... being mad at him. And I'm sad because I have to move out of my nice apartment all because that BITCH has to be a, well, bitch. And I'm sad because I got totally ditched for football and beer and the quickie beforehand seriously didn't help because now I want more, lol.

I'll be better. It's just been awhile since I've sat by myself and had a really good cry. So I'm going to go do that now. And then I'm going to finish packing up my life AGAIN.

More soon.

Oh, by the way. So I begged and pleaded to have Dustin stay here tonight just because I wanted to be cuddled and he SO did not want to have to drive all the way back here so I made a little deal. I'd stop begging if he gets a haircut while I'm gone for Christmas. Ha! Who's the queen? That'd be me.