I know it's been awhile. I just don't have as much to write about these days. That may be a good thing because my life is a bit less dramatic than before. Or maybe I'm just getting lazy. Probab;y the latter.

Again I feel like evaluating my friendships. I have a few things going on that are making me think about the people in my life that I love and trust. I hate feeling like people that are supposed to be my friends, people that are pretty much family to me, don't have my best interests at heart. And then I try to say something to them and it gets turned around into me being the bad guy.

In one situation I have this friend who I thought I'd been a good friend to. We don't see each other as much anymore but we also don't keep the same kind of schedules. I thank God for the internet because it makes it easier to keep in touch with people. But it also takes away a certain kind of intimacy. How can someone accuse you of being a bad friend when you have no idea that something's bothering them and therefore don't think to ask "What's wrong?" I'm sorry that I don't read internet emotion and that when I begin talking to a friend the first words out of my mouth aren't "What's wrong." If you have a problem and want to talk about it than TELL ME rather than waiting for me to take some kind of hint. You accuse me from walking away from problems but then I ask you if you have anymore to say on a certain subject and you tell me no. Therefore I assume that things are better. I even ASKED if things were better and you said yes. I'm sick of this. I am not a mind reader and I AM a good friend. I don't want anyone to say otherwise. I do worry about my friends and when my friends have a problem and ASK for an ear to listen. But the telephone does work two ways and if I'm supposed to be an understanding friend I need to at least be told there's something that needs to be talked about. I am REALLY angry.

As for the other problem... this person isn't exactly a good friend. In fact, the people that I do consider good friends have told me to stay away from him. And so finally I told him exactly what I think about him and this results in him acting like a child, which shouldn't surprise me. I hate that people who are so flawed decide to act reactive instead of proactive and blame me for their bad lives. It's call therapy, get some.

Anyway. Done with my soapbox for the time being.

Things with D are good. I find myself loving him more and more every day. I adore the moments when he doesn't know I'm watching and he pulls some cute face and I think to myself, "Wow, that's MY boyfriend, that adorable man over there." I am seriously smitten.

I totally exhausted today and I'm not exactly sure why. At work last night Jack and I had a talk about the way things are run in my store and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that a lot of what goes on in that place is total bullshit. I'm planning on quitting as soon as I can get my butt in gear and go *shudder* job hunting. I do love the job and if there wasn't such a thing about politics there I would stay. But those aren't my kind of politics.

I would type more. But there's too much in my head. I will try to organize it and then return.

More soon.