Well... so far everything is KINDA working out. After a nearly disasterous Tuesday night, might I add.

You see, I rented a u-haul truck to move all my stuff from my place to Kassi's for the week that I'll be staying at her place. I did it all online and was told that it would be ready in a town close to River Falls that day. I was supposed to recieve a confirmation call and didn't so Tuesday night I called the 1-800 number figuring that it would all be good and I would be all set for tomorrow. However, that's not how it worked. For some reason the truck was in Menomonie and when I found that out I told them to cancel it because there was no way I could drive to Menomonie, epsecially with gas being the way it is. I then called my dad because I had NO IDEA what to do. I was starting to feel upset. I mean, everything I seem to try to do is going wrong and moving is stressful enough when everything goes RIGHT. Well, we couldn't find another truck because most of them are rented out due to everyone moving places for the school year. Dad started in on his making me feel bad routine and I was just beside myself hysterical. I tried to call certain friends who not only didn't answer but then never bothered to call me back. And I couldn't really call Dustin about it because he was at work. I was at a loss, sitting in my room totally unsure of what to do. A little later Dad called me back to let me know that Mom had called Aunt Brenda who called Uncle Dick who has a HUGE truck for work.

So, it ended up working out okay but... I just can't deal anymore. Everything seems to be going wrong and it's not like I have the money to be dealing with all this. Gas prices are up so high, I barely have time to do homework (and now I have less time because I can only do the computer stuff in school until Kas and I move into the new place and get the internet set up). I'm really not liking my job and trying to figure out what to do there... it's just not good right now, my life seems so up in the air and, selfishly, I wish Amber were around because I really kind of need her right now. Amber has been my best friend for nine years and it seems like whenever things get REALLY rough I know I can count on her to help me up and cheer me up. But I know she's starting a new part of her life now. It's just hard. And sometimes I feel bad for relying on Dustin as much as I do. I just want some of the stress to go away so I can enjoy my life a little. I mean, isn't that what life's about? Or are we really meant to go through our lives feeling like we're jumping over one hurdle after another and never able to breathe.

So now I'm at Kassi's and that's a little awkward too. I feel like I'm intruding and Sundae doesn't get along with the dog or cat and... oh, it just feels all wrong. I feel like all I do these days is intrude on other people's lives. I'm sorry if I feel so incredibly self centered right now and I've been trying my best to deal with it myself but I thought the point of having friends is that they're there for you when things get tough. Kassi's being a pretty damn good friend as is D right now. But that's about all the support I feel like I'm getting. And not really anyone has any idea of all the uncertainties that are constantly running through my head. It's like I'm juggling all these balls and any second now they're going to come crashing down on me!

I know most of my entries have been pretty misarable lately. I really don't know what else to say. I'm kind of feeling miserable right now. And that's all there is to it.

More soon.