And it just keeps getting worse. I'm beside myself and I have absolutely no idea what to do.

When I got back from Dustin's yesterday morning I was really worried about how I would feel around Kassi. She said she was sorry and I know that should be good enough but... it isn't. She REALLY hurt my feelings and I really don't think that an I'm sorry is going to solve anything.

She acts nice... like nothing happened and nothing's wrong. Dustin ended up not having to go to school yesterday so he came to Kassi's instead. She asked to tag along and I said that was fine but... yeah. It's like she goes out of her way to be mean to me. She talks about how my tat looks like crap, how we'll figure out a way to "fix" my hair, how the clothes I like look shitty. I'm so sick of it.

I started to get quiet because I just don't even know how to respond to her. Finally she decided to go to Target and Dustin and I went off on our own.

All through my class last night, though, I couldn't stop thinking about how hurt my feelings are. I don't generally feel like this, usually when I have fights with my friends they don't go out of their way to say things that will hurt me. If, say, Shannon and I are mad at each other because I cancelled on her a few times in a row she wouldn't then call me up and call me a bitch and what not. Nor would she scream on me and threaten to throw my stuff on the street (if I were, say, living with her). But with Kassi if I say ANYTHING she calls me a bitch and yells at me and then threatens to throw out all my stuff. And all of this is seriously stressing me out.

Today I was trying to figure out how much I owe for rent and Kassi and I ended up getting into ANOTHER fight. Of course she called me a bitch and threatened to throw my stuff on the street. All because I suggested she pay for half the $15 a month pet fee (she's bringing her snake which isn't even ALLOWED in the apartment in the first place). I'm so sick of her temper tantrums and then getting told that "oh, I'm just stressed." Fuck off Kassi, it's not an excuse, so am I.

I don't know. I'm seriously starting to really dislike her. I just have no idea how I'm going to handle living with her for a year because I seriously cannot deal with the insults and tantrums.

I feel depressed. Seriously. I feel like I'm going through the motions of my life. Kassi has seriously broken me down so badly. I think I'm SCARED of her. How disgusting is that? And every time I go to talk to her now I feel so defensive.

I don't want her to come to my birthday. I don't want her around my friends. I don't want her anywhere near me anymore.

I don't like the person I'm being. And I'm really, really upset. I wish I could figure out what to do.