Thinking about the way that last night ended gives me butterflies. But I suppose I should really start at the beginning.

Yesterday at work was kinda... yeah. Natalie and I were both SO antsy about wanting to leave and start our plans for the night. The first two hours or so of work were pretty busy and the second two we spent doing all the side work (making double drip for the coolers, making cold press, making chocolate, measuring out coffee for that night and the next morning) but the last two SUCKED. So we ended up sitting around and talking about our crazy lives and it was pretty okay. I definitely have to say that now that I'm getting to know people better I really like being at work. It's not too shabby.

After work I came home and ran a couple of errands, watched some TV, ate a little. Then I went to Perkins to meet up with Bryan and have a little coffee to wake me up. So we're sitting at the counter with one of the regulars, Jeff, and chatting it up with Dustin. Except... this girl Ashley was there with her friend. And... she was being all huggy with Dustin. I don't really know her but she's a cute girl and I immediately felt jealous. I don't know what my problem is lately but I keep feeling like I can't compete with ANYONE anymore. Like... I just don't measure up. Well, I mentioned to Bryan that I was a little jealous and he practically announced it to the entire restaurant. He and Dustin were kind of making fun of me about it and I was just feeling bad. I got upset and left.

Well I called Dustin from my car and asked him to step out back to talk to me. I told him how I was feeling and that I didn't want to go to his place so that I could watch other girls hanging on him. I told him that it's hard for me to trust him because he's hurt me before and it's hard for me to just put that in the past. Well then he pulled a switch on me. He asked me if I changed some phone numbers on his phone. I guess a couple of phone numbers were changed and they were people that I'm not very fond of. Thing is, when we were at my parents' place the other weekend I had his phone in my purse so I had motive and time to be able to do it. But I didn't! And he asked how he could trust me when I have gone through his phone before. So... I guess he's got me there. I felt really stupid. And he told me he wouldn't hurt me, that I'm one of his best friends. That means so damn much to me.

I went home and Dustin picked me up when he was done with work. We each did a shot of Malibu and then headed over to his place.

It was a pretty low key but fun 4th. Loretta, Bubba, Bruggie, Jodi, Ali, Ashley and her friend Katelyn (they left REALLY fast.... so sad), two of Jodi's guy friends, Bryan, Bryce, Abby, Dustin and I were all just kinda chillin and drinking in the driveway. We had sparklers and shot off a few low key fireworks. Not too shabby, I had fun and drank a lot, lol.

Around 2ish Dustin and I headed to bed. We started talking about our feelings for each other and... he pretty much told me that the reason he hasn't been looking around for other girls is because he's waiting to see what happens between us. He told me he thinks about it all the time but that he doesn't want to have to worry about me being jealous or about us fighting. It felt SO DAMN GOOD to FINALLY have that conversation and to know that I actually have a chance to be happy with him. Bryan then came in with this giant stuffed cow and they were being all goofy for awhile. And after Bryan finally went to bed D and I got back to bed and cuddled and kissed and... well, had the best damn sex I've had a quite a long time!

I'm really, really, really happy. God I'm so fucking happy! I've got this great guy in my life who treats me like gold and for once I don't have to worry about drama or feeling like I'm not good enough for any of that high school bullshit.

For now I'm tired and I have to go to bed in a few hours because I work at 5AM tomorrow.

More soon.