Not a whole lot has been going on in my world. I go to class, I go to work, I go to sleep, I... go to eat? Lol, sorry, I wanted to stick with the "go to" thing and it didn't working for eating.

Anyway. So yeah, not a whole lot. I've just been trying to get through the week because I am so exited for the weekend to be here. I guess the week just seems to mundane in comparison. Ah well, life can be like that, I suppose. And that's okay. The weather has been so beautiful although I suppose it'd be nice to have some more rain to make everything green.

I've been thinking about my life this week. I've always felt that my life is a bit like a rollercoaster and I'd rather it be more like a ride through the country. Then again, I suppose a ride through the country may not always be safe either. Nothing in this world is 100% safe. Maybe that's something I've had a hard time learning. I've spent a lot of my life being envious of what others have. Lately I've been feeling down because everyone around me seems to be falling into these relationships and here I am just trying to survive my past. How on earth can I be in a healthy relationship when my past is so damn screwed up.

But... it is in the PAST. That's the point of the past, it's behind you and you shouldn't worry so much about it. You have to live for the present and the future, not the past. There are so many things in this life that I want and I'm never going to be able to do any of it if I keep letting my past get in the way. I've been pushed around, knock down, told I can't, held myself back... and it's gotten me absolutely NOWHERE. I'm tired of it.

I want a damn good job and in order to do that I need to get through school. I want to to be there for my friends the way that they've been there for me. I want to be in love again and THAT'S what got me the most worried right now because I think I might be able to fall... if I could get up the courage. I just want more out of life than I've been allowing myself to have an it's about time I stop sitting around crying and start going for it. No time like the present, right?

Um.... so yeah. Today is my second day of serving and I'm excited for it. Gotta make me some good tips so maybe I can find me a little somethin' somethin' in Chicago on Sunday.

Tomorrow night I'm meeting up with Elisa FINALLY so hopefully we can get some chit chat done and I can figure out why she's being so elusive. Afterwards D's coming over to watch a movie. Hopefully I can cheer him up a bit, he's been so crappy and down lately. No fun at all!

And then the weekend, yay!

Soooooooooooooo yeah. Bleh I'm bored. Gonna go find something to do till work. More soon!