Ugh, so I'm sick. I really didn't think I was getting sick, I just figured something was up with my throat. Even when I woke up this morning I didn't feel all that sick, just a little out of it because I was sleeping on and off and didn't get to bed till probably... I have no idea, like 3 maybe? However, after my shower I just felt icky and now I'm coughing and sneezing and my head feels all stuffed with cotton. Ugh, I hate colds. Especially colds where I cough, I haven't had a coughing cold in a REALLY long time. Usually my nose and head are just stuffy. It must be the weather and hopefully it won't hang on too long, especially since I have a long weekend of work ahead of me, yuck!

Rich came over last night after I kind of yelled at him for... I don't know, not calling me or something? I know I need to calm down a few notches. I am having a hard time, though. It's difficult because I feel like I'm trying to get to know Rich the best I can but I'm not being given time to do that. It's like... when I had the time the first time around I took it for granted and acted like I didn't want to know about Rich. I don't even understand why I acted that way. I don't really feel like I even know that Krysten anymore. She's really hard to grasp onto. I don't remember why I didn't trust him, why I didn't want to know him, why I acted so selfish and immature. All I know is that this time I don't want to be that person. And part of me isn't anymore. When I am around Rich, and even when I'm not, I find myself wanting to hear him and about him. It's like he's a good book and I've only gotten past the first few chapters... and all I want to do is stay inside all day turning page after page, devouring every word. And I am slowly beginning to trust Rich. There are things that have happened between that make me... slightly wary of him. Then again, I can't say that I'm not partly at fault. But I realize he looks out for me, cares for me, wants good things for me. Now... I just have to stop taking everything so personal. It's hard not to. There's still a little piece of me that's broken. It's not just because of Rich. It's due to a lot of things that have happened over the last year. And I'm not looking for Rich to be the one to fix me. I need to do that on my own. But... I do want him around as I figure it out. Every day he's becoming more important to me. And I am so happy to have him in my life.

So... my ex-boyfriend Tom jumped back into my life again about a week ago. He was trying to apologize for acting like a dick. I'm just kind of tired of his whole drama. I don't get it. We dated... about two and a half years ago, right before I met Rich. And he was just an ass (Tom, that is, not Rich). He kept trying to pop himself back into my life and this past fall I did try to give him a chance. But it just was not happening and I wanted us to be friends until he pretty much proclaimed that I'm easy and had his friends prank call me. Anyway, so he instant messaged me the other day and said he wanted closure and wanted for me to not dislike him. And, frankly, he's just not a person that I'm ever going to like. Not the way he keeps acting. He's immature and rude and does not know how to handle people at all. And I don't like having someone beg for my forgiveness. That needs to be earned. I told him no and that he needs to leave me alone and drop it. I'm done trying to deal with these silly little boys.

I am SO looking forward to it being April. It's going to be such a busy, exciting month. Shannon is moving and I am SO excited for her because she really does need to get out of that bad neighborhood that she's living in. No more Mexicans hitting on me whenever I go over there. Then we have the "bridesmaids meeting" which is so silly that we're calling it that but it should be lot of fun nonetheless, especially getting to see Erica and Angie. I haven't seen Angie in AGES and I've heard she's done a lot of changing. It'll be fun. The next weekend is my cousin (well, 2nd or 3rd cousin, but who's counting) Robyn's wedding and I am SUPER excited for that, getting to see my grandparents and aunts who I'm not used to seeing so much. I just saw them in January for Grandpa's birthday. It's nice to get to be seeing them so much. And finally there's the Maroon 5 concert in which I will kidnap the entire band and lock them in my closet, hehe. In between all this I have to somehow manage to make A's and B's in all my classes AND try to convince Randy to let me start serving. Man oh man, it's going to be a hectic but awesome month!

Okay... I need to get some rest if I want to feel better. More soon!