What just happened here?

I'm not even sure myself. And I'm not sure what to type. I think at this point I'd rather just be vague than anything else. Because I'm not sure what just happened. And I'm not sure what to feel about it.

In the last week I made a pretty big mistake about someone. As soon as I sat in my room for a minute and thought about it I knew I'd made a really big mistake. I keep trusting thing person and he keeps proving, time and time again, that I shouldn't. I think I want to trust him because I see a lot of myself in him. That's pretty bad, isn't it, that I see a lot of myself in a person that I know I shouldn't trust? He's so confused and I get that. I've been there. But lately I'm feeling that confusion kind of roll away. And do I really want to be that close to someone that's that confused? Not really. We have fun together. He listens and can be a good friend when he wants to be. But the confusion.

Then there is someone else that.... maybe I made a big mistake about him too? But in a different way. I'm not sure how to explain this. Maybe I'm being premature. Maybe I'm running off of my emotions. I am trying to explain this and I know I'm not making any sense. Okay. I contacted Rich because I missed him but not only that... I felt bad. I've had a lot of second chances with people recently. I wanted a REAL one with him, too. He has every right to not trust me. And that's fine because eventually he'll see that he can. And... I don't want to say this on here. He deserves to hear it from me. LOL! This entry was not supposed to sound thing confused, hehe. Because I actually don't feel confused, aside from trying to figure out the events of last night. My question is... what have we fought about in the past? I remember being kind of jealous. I remember him being late. Ummmm.... we fought about eating at a seafood restaurant. That's sad. Who fights about stuff like that? Who, truly, is that dumb to mess up any kind of a relationship with someone just to fight about stupid stuff like that?

Okay. I need to go and get myself ready for the day. And, of course, to do lots of thinking.

I have to say this, though. I feel good.