Well, as usual I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well this weekend. Friday night, I think it was, I feel asleep and my AIM shut off and turned back on. Well when it turned back on my away message wasn't up and usually when I put up my away message I press the "disable sounds while I'm away"feature so that it doesn't but me while I'm sleeping. Well, that wasn't turned on so every time someone signed off and on it made a noise and it was driving me nuts. So I got up to put an away message up and then couldn't get to sleep. Yeah, slightly annoying. Then last night I woke up at 5 just because and couldn't get back to sleep right away. Bah, sometimes I wish I was a heavier sleeper.

I'm really beginning to hate Valentine's Day. It's stressing me out! I don't mean to sound rude to those of you in relationships but you stress out us single people. Or at least those of us single people that are sick of being single. For awhile I was so sick of worrying about the stupid boys in my life and being single seemed like the best ever solution. I kinda of enjoyed it over November, December, and part of January. But now... I really want what Shannon and Amber have. I mean, the first months of a relationship are great, when everything seems perfect and whatever. But I want the real life relationship. I don't even know what that's like but I just want someone to have that with. I know I shouldn't be bitching but V-Day is just stressing me out. I just want someone to share the day with... well, at least the night after 8 when I'm done with school and work, lol. Being single is getting old.

It's so funny how much things have changed in the last month or so. I feel like I've even changed really drastically. When I first moved here I turned into such a townie. I wanted to impress the people I worked with so I was drinking a lot and being really bitchy and mean. The thing is, I'm not even really like that. I told Shannon last night on the phone that right now I feel really happy... and I can say that completely honestly. I don't feel fake anymore and I don't feel like I'm trying to impress anyone. My real friends know the real me and like that. I don't really enjoy going out to the bars all the time and acting stupid. Frankly, when I go drinking I'd rather go to a cool, low key place, something very Uptown or Dinkytown. I like having lots of movie nights or chill nights and they don't have to constantly involve alcohol. And the pettiness around here is really bugging me. I dunno... I'm liking hanging out with Shannon so much and I love the fact that Rich and I are doing so well together. I have to think maybe the time away from each other just helped us appreciate each other more. It kinda made me less obsessed. I love hanging out with him but it's not constantly on my mind and that feels a lot more healthy. And I'm glad Amber and I are making more of an effort to call each other and keep in touch, as are Tim and I. I'm a little worried about James only because he's been seeming a little angry at life these days. But... these are the people I really care about and their the one's whose opinions matter. What do I care what a bunch of gossipy, drunk partiers think of me? Yeah, exactly.

So what's up for this week? Well, hopefully seeing Rich because I need one of his shirts from him. Shopping with Shannon on Thursday, hopefully IKEA because they have cool vases I want and then MOA. I wanna stop at Vickie's because I got a gift card from there over Christmas that I haven't used yet. And who knows what else. Other than that just a lot of school and "stuff" all week. Then my photo shoot with Doug on Saturday. Hopefully I'll stop feeling so fat by then and my face will clear up. Bleh.

Ummm... oh, today. I went to Kohl's thinking I would buy SOMETHING cute because I've been feeling like my clothes are very bleh lately. I ended up buying one new pair of panties. I just felt really fat today, nothing looked good on me. Tonight I am doing massive amounts of situps as I will be from now on because my tummy is so huge. I've decided I'm majorly cutting sugar out of my diet and instead of eating carbs at night it's going to be veggies or fruities. And no eating after 7. So yeah. Oh, and Shannon and Ryan came out here around 2 today. Many thanks to Ryan for putting up shelves in the apartment... now I just have to figure out what to put on those shelves!!!! But the apartment is looking more and more homey so I'm happy *smile* After that we sat around and looked at ALL my photo albums, from way back when to recently. It was really fun to sit and giggle and all our goofiness and just remember the good times. Finally, we went into Perkins for food and it was cool because only the nice people were there... Christie and Lewann and Benji and people that don't flippin gossip and get drunk 24/7. So it was cool.

Yeeeaaaahhhh. Anyway, time to wash my face, do some situps, and just chill. More soon!

Anyway... sleepy. Mor