I just got down watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and if you haven't already seen it you really, really should. When I first started watching it I thought to myself, "Wow this movie is FUCKED UP, and I thought Donnie Darko was weird!" However, the last few minutes are playing right now and I atcually have tears in my eyes at the thought of something in that movie actually coming true. I love movies or books that move me to tears. That's how you know they're good.

Eternal Sunshine is about a woman who gets so fed up with her relationship that she erases her boyfriend from her mind. The boyfriend, so angry with the girlfriend and so heartbroken decides to do the same. However, as he's going through the procedure and through all of his memories of her he realizes how much he loves her and does not want to forget her.

This movie really gets me thinking. Is there someone that I would like to erase from my mind? Is there someone I wish I had never met, wish wasn't in my life, wish I did not have to think about one moment more? Maybe. There have been bad people in my life. And maybe if I erased them I wouldn't have been as fucked up for so long as I was. I wouldn't have had to feel so much pain, wouldn't have had so much shit to work through.

Would I erase someone I once loved? Would I erase someone just because we had a really bad fight and thinking about them was bringing me down? I mean, think about if I had erased Shannon because of that stupid party last year or think about if I had erased Amber because things were a little rocky this fall. What if I had erased Rich a few months ago. And would I really forget them? Would I really be using that machine, going back through all my memories, and really just let them disappear?

I really don't think I would. I mean, eventually you're going to have fights with everyone. It's what happens when you get close to someone, you just do. I don't think I could ever be so mad as to want to completely erase someone from my memory. And if I did, I really don't think I'd let myself forget. I don't want to give away the end of the movie. But I think I would somehow, in my memories, find some way to save something so that when I wake up I will somehow remember. Or have a trigger.

Yeah, maybe there are things or people I'd like to forget. But if I forgot them then I wouldn' t be the person I am right now. Iwouldn't be able to learn from my mistakes, wouldn't be able to be as strong as I am. Your mistakes, the people that end up being people you know longer care for... all of that makes up who you are. Why would you want to forget any of that, good or bad?

Oooh so much thinking. I should be asleep but this movie is just in my head now and making me think. SO MUCH THINKING! Yeah, I should try to go to bed, I have a long day tomorrow! But truly, see Eternal Sunshine, it's incredibly good.