It was a good day yesterday, I good day to FINALLY finish off the semester. My last final was "easy peasy" so I came back feeling pretty good, despite the fact that I was FREEZING!
I went into work early yesterday to have something to eat. We were pretty slow all last night which was NICE because we were all giggling and being goofy. Morgan was working and she was helping me totally pick of Dustin, lol. That's always a plus. The one thing that bugs me is that Dustin will not speak to Leah unless it's two words about something having to do with work. It gets to be annoying and if he's so over Leah (considering he's SO into Amanda... and not me) then what is his issue? Leah made a mistake and that sucks but stop acting like a kid and get over it. It's like he wants me to get over the hurt I feel by getting rejected by him not once but twice. But he can't just forgive Leah and deal? Yeah.
After work I came home and tried to get Kassi to come out here like she was supposed to. I've been kind of worried about Kassi lately, like she's feeling self destructive or something. So I was trying to get her to come out here so we could just hang out and talk. Actually, she invited herself out here the night before, wanting to get together and drink. And then yesterday I told her that worried me and she agreed. So she was just going to come here to chill. Anyway, I got home and called Kassi and she said he mom wouldn't be home till 10 and she wasn't sure she could come. I should it was fine, she could come out late and she said she'd call back. Well, by 10:30 Leah had called because she was going to come over too. By 11 Leah was here but no word from Kassi. And, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sit and call again to just feel shot down. So yeah.
Leah and I had a good talk last night. I kinda wonder about her sometimes just because I am loyal to Dustin and so it's hard for me sometimes to totally trust Leah. But it was nice to have a drink with her and talk about stuff and just have girl time. I hang out with Dustin so much, sometimes I forget that I'm a girl, lol. Weird? Yes. The thing that sucks is that Dustin was coming over to bring my present here so when he called Leah decided to go. Sucks that things are so uncomfortable. So Leah headed out.
Dustin came over and I swear to God I was SCARED of the present, lol. He actually got me two, one normal one and one funny one. The normal one is this super cute snowman coffee cup. How sweet is that that he got me something that I actually really like, cute coffee cups. I was touched. Then came the funny gift. It's in this big, flat box and I'm like WTF??? So I open it.... and it's a LITTLE KIDS TABLE AND CHAIRS! He's like, "That way you can stop your bitching about not having furniture in here." Super funny, lol, and absolutely adorable. I got a picture of him sitting at the table, which was positively hysterical. Aw, it was cute.
This morning I woke up at 10:30 to find a message from Leah asking if I wanted to go last minute Christmas shopping. So I'm just waiting for her to call so that we can get on our way. I'm psyched to have someone to shop with and have more girl talk. I guess Dustin messing with my head again came out at a good time, at least. I'll have my girls to hang with and hopefully it will get me to be less attached to him. I think that I am moving from Rich to Dustin, having someone's hand to hold as I try to finally put my past to bed. I mean, that isn't the reason I have feelings for Dustin. Those are genuine, for sure. But I am even more attached, in a not so good way, because I feel like I need him to walk me through everything. So... yeah.
Today I Give Myself Permission To... HAVE FAITH!
To me having faith is the same as having trust that things happen for a reason and I will, in the end, find happiness. Usually I don't feel that way. Usually I just get bummed about the things that happen to me and assume that I must have done SOMETHING to piss off SOMEONE to have so many bad things happen to me.
I don't even have much to say on this. Like I said about everything, I truly am trying. It makes me angry that Rich lead me on for so long and I lost someone that could have been a good boyfriend to me because I was foolish. But... I have to have faith that it happened to teach me a good lesson and I will think twice before getting involved with someone like that again. And that goes for a lot more in my life.
Anyway... Leah should be calling soon so I'm heading out. More soon!
