I'm pretty bummed out right now. Actually, no, I'm kinda feeling really bummed. You know how you work yourself up for something and it's not that it doesn't go your way... it's that it doesn't happen at all? And you know you still have time to do what you want to do but you're a little worried you might not have the courage? Yeah. I actually sit and cried for a few minutes and I hate that. I shouldn't even be so bothered except that I am. I feel like I keep getting the brush off about a million things and my hopefulness keeps getting me hurt. I don't know.

Work. What can I say about work? I went in feeling totally happy and spunky. I was in a great mood. And even though we were super busy it wasn't too bad. But then I got stuck at the register for a LONG time and started to run out of quarters. So I asked Randy if he'd get me some. He was seating people but there were no tables open so I figured he had a minute. Well he walks by me and goes "You know you can get money too." He said it all snotty and I'm thinking, "Well I would if I could get away from the register for two seconds." Like what do I look like, Super Hostess? Well, the rest of the afternoon went will till about 4:30. This server, Loretta, has been such a bitch lately. Tonight she came in at, like, 4:40 and second later we get a group of 19 in. Well I was helping the server who took the table get all the drinks ready. So Loretta, who wasn't even on the clock till 5, asks if I can get her tickets and I said sure but would she get drinks for me. And she goes, "Well I'm not on the clock." So I told her then no, helping the customers was more important. And she stalks off muttering about what a bitch I am. Like... why can't she help? I clocked out about 20 minutes later and was talking with Dustin. Well, the phone rang and I answered even though I wasn't on the clock. Why can't you be helpful? Why do people think I'm negative? Well take a look at how I get walked all over? Why should I take everyone else's shit?

I think Kas might come over tonight. I'm just not feeling great and I'm pissy on top of it. I don't want to see boys. I mean, no offense to those of you who are great guys and who I totally adore. I just need a girl friend right now. Yay, and she just called and is on her way. Awesomeness.

I'm tired. I guess I'll end this entry. I'm lame, I know. More soon.